Hidden Self
by Violet Karuto
Summary: 'Her Happiness is my Happiness', that's what Tomoyo have always thought about her life until a certain *someone* teaches her the real meaning of it. E+T My first fanfic!! plez r+r and i'll luv u 4eva~!
1. Default Chapter

Hey minna~! Umm this is my VERY FIRST e/t story so pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez don¡¦t hate me because of spelling, grammar, misuse of Japanese¡K OK!!! Anywayz~! Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT *sniff sniff* own CCS or any of its characters¡K(noOOOOO!!!) Clamp does

¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K

_-thoughts_

-speaking

¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K

Hidden Self

By: Violet Karuto

As the young goddess walks out of her bathroom carrying a towel, she notices that the doors to her balcony are open. Gracefully, she crosses her gigantic room and stopped when she was about to close the doors. _My, what a beautiful night¡K _Tomoyo Daidouji thought as she stares out into the night sky, _yes¡K yet another night alone. _Tomoyo closed her eyes as she felt the loneliness overwhelmed her. Since she was small, her mother, Sonomi Daidouji, was never there for her since she was the CEO of the biggest toy company in Japan and is always busy; therefore, she grew up with her maids who took care of her. Today, like always, her mother wasn¡¦t home due to some important business in some foreign land and won¡¦t be back until the week after.

Tomoyo sat down on her bed and started to brush her luxurious black hair while staring out into space. Her lips trembled a little like she was on the verge of crying, but didn¡¦t. _No! I can¡¦t cry! I have to be strong for okaa-san¡K for okaa-san¡K_Tomoyo put her brush down as she walked out to the balcony to have some fresh air. The mask of the always-hyper-Tomoyo-who-always-chases-her-Sakura-chan-with-a-video- camera was specially taken off tonight, which was rarely, for she never shows her true self to anyone; not even at home. At school, she shows her happy mask to everyone around her; including Sakura, and smiles her brightest smile which can fool anyone who looked at her. The experiences she¡¦s gained since she was small thought her how to think of a foolproof lie within seconds and say it without a blink of a eye. True, no one has ever figure out what¡¦s inside the head of Tomoyo Daidouji for she was always a surprise. 

A tear streaked down the flawless porcelain face as the girl stares at the stars with her dull amethyst eyes. _What¡¦s this? A tear? How funny¡K I almost forgot how to cry¡K _Gently, she wiped the only tear away with her small hands and went back inside her bedroom to prepare for school tomorrow.

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_At the Hiirigazawa Mansion¡K_

Eriol stares sadly at the sleeping figure of Tomoyo from his huge magic mirror on the floor. His dark blue hair fell over his deep azure eyes as he stared at the mirror. With a swipe of his hands, the image disappeared. Sitting at his Throne-of-Evil, Eriol went into deep thinking¡K

Outside of the room, figure of two people standing was seen, a girl with red-brownish hair and a flying small cat.

¡§Suppi-chan, what should we do? It¡¦s a week since master¡¦s been like this¡¨ said the girl with a worried expression.

¡§I¡¦m NOT Suppi-chan, I DO have a name, thank you very much¡¨, argued the feline, ¡§the only solution I can think up of is to leave him alone. We can¡¦t solve his problems and if he needs us, he¡¦ll tell us.¡¨

The girl, known as Nakuru, pouted slightly ¡§but its sooo boring seeing him like this every night. I want to have fun!¡¨

¡§Now, you know very clearly that that¡¦s not the reason we¡¦re here-¡¨ reasoned the cat nodding slightly to himself. But he was cut off when Nakuru suddenly crabs his furry little body and rushes downstairs to the kitchen.

¡§If Eriol-sama¡¦s going to sit like this again tonight, I¡¦m going to go crazy! Why don¡¦t you and I have some fun of our own, ne Suppi-chan?¡¨

¡§Wha-Wha~? NOoOOoOOoOOO!!!¡¨ was the last thing to be heard that night¡K

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School next morning 

¡§Ohayo minna!¡¨ cried Tomoyo as she walked into the classroom.

¡§Ohayo Tomoyo-chan!¡¨ answered an emerald-eyed girl, who was also Tomoyo¡¦s best friend. Sakura has become Tomoyo¡¦s obsession since they were small, everywhere Sakura goes, Tomoyo will be there already with a video camera; which was also another of Daidouji¡¦s obsessions.

¡§Ohayo Daidouji-san¡¨ came a dull reply from behind Sakura as she turned.

¡§Ohayo Syaoran-kun!¡¨ replied Tomoyo sitting at her desk and getting her books out.

¡§Ohayo Daidouji-san¡¨ came a deep voice by her ear that almost made her jump out of her skin and scream in fright. Almost. And that person is certainly enjoying every moment of it. 

¡§O-Ohayo Hiirigazawa-kun¡¨ replied a pale Tomoyo who didn¡¦t even bother to turn her back. _Ooooo¡K that bastard¡K_

¡§Now, now, isn¡¦t that very un-ladylike?¡¨ replied Eriol with a knowing smile on his face.

She didn¡¦t need to question where he got that statement. If her dear Sakura wasn¡¦t there, Tomoyo will surely wipe that freaky smile off his face within seconds. But unfortunately their sensei walked in just in time to spare the commotion, which it would last within the gossiping halls of the school for a week.

The day seem to last forever for Tomoyo and its been repeating themselves over and over again every single day. Bored, she looked out the window into the dark sky and thick clouds. _Just perfect_ thought Tomoyo sarcastically _and where would I get an umbrella in the middle of school?_ This is definitely not her day.

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After school 

¡§Tomoyo-chan, are you coming with us? It¡¦s raining really hard outside and, thankfully, Syaoran brought an umbrella.¡¨ Said Sakura as she put her homework inside her backpack.

¡§Gomen ne Sakura-chan, I¡¦m afraid I have choir practice after school and won¡¦t be able to join you guys. Don¡¦t worry though; I brought an umbrella of my own too. Besides¡K hohohoho¡¨ Tomoyo suddenly put on her evil smirk, ¡§I don¡¦t want to bother you guys and I¡¦m sure Syaoran will take good care of you and not get you wet.¡¨

The results, two beet red faces staring at her and looking down. Tomoyo giggled helplessly as she bade goodbye to the couple. It¡¦s been three years since Sakura changed the Clow Cards and passes Eriol¡¦s test and of course, declared an official couple with Syaoran. Tomoyo sighed at the last thought as she looked around the empty classroom. She had lied, there were no choir practice today and she definitely doesn¡¦t have an umbrella. _Well, what¡¦s the worse thing that could happen? Me getting soaking wet, or me seeing Sakura and Syaoran together hand in hand and have your heart broken again? Yeah, very smart Tomoyo, like there¡¦s a choice for you._

As Tomoyo ran out from the doors of school, she saw someone standing, with an umbrella, by the gates waiting. Curiosity got the better of her as she slow to a pause to see whom it is; which is none other than Eriol himself.

¡§What are you doing here Hiirigazawa-kun? Shouldn¡¦t you be going home?¡¨ asked Tomoyo as she came under the shelter of his umbrella.

¡§Of course Daidouji-san, but what are YOU doing here? I¡¦m pretty sure that there are no choir practice today¡¨ Tomoyo looked away as Eriol smirked.

¡§We-Well, I¡¦m just finishing up some unfinished business at school that¡¦s all,¡¨ replied Tomoyo pretending to be as calm as ever. But inside, her heart is beating like crazy. _Certainly, that Hiirigazawa thinks this is funny? Teasing me with every chance he has. Well he¡¦s not going to succeed, definitely NOT with a Daidouji. _¡§What are you doing here Hiirigazawa? Waiting for your girlfriend?¡¨ _Ha! Take that!_

¡§Why how ever did you know my dear Daidouji-san!¡¨ said a surprise Eriol ¡§ I¡¦m waiting for you! As you know, I¡¦ve been waiting for an hour now.¡¨ Eriol smiled his innocent smile, which caused Tomoyo¡¦s blood to boil.

¡§Thanks for your offer, but no thanks. I certainly can get home by myself without your help, also, I didn¡¦t ask you to wait for me so it¡¦s your fault you¡¦ve been standing here for an hour and not mine. Good day Hiirigazawa-kun.¡¨ With that, Tomoyo walked past Eriol with as much dignity as possible despite the hard rain slapping her face.

Soon after, Eriol caught up with her in a brisk walk as he put his umbrella over her head again. As expected, Tomoyo ignored him and continue walking.

¡§Now Daidouji-san, I AM a gentlemen after all and I can¡¦t let a lady like you to walk home alone in a weather like this and you¡¦re already soaking wet. Why don¡¦t I walk you to your house?¡¨

¡§Your status doesn¡¦t concern me Hiirigazawa, and I don¡¦t care if you walked me home or not, just don¡¦t bother me with your flirting. I¡¦m not like the other girls in school that will melt under your feet with your comments. Save your breath for tomorrow in school.¡¨ Tomoyo said without a glance at him.

¡§You wound me Daidouji-san¡¨ said Eriol with a hand over his chest, ¡§I do care about the wealth of your being.¡¨ Tomoyo rolled her eyes as Eriol smiled his famous smile.

¡§Oh please, I bet that¡¦s the line you use on every female being you see. But sorry, it doesn¡¦t work on me¡¨ replied Tomoyo as she walked faster. Soon, they were standing in front of the Daidouji mansion.

¡§Well here it is, thanks for the walk, even though I¡¦m certain that I didn¡¦t ask you to do so, and good bye.¡¨ Said Tomoyo quickly wanting to get as far away from this man as possible.

¡§Are you sure? It does seem like a long way to your front door..¡¨ said Eriol staring at the 1 mile long driveway behind the gate.

¡§Yes, yes, I¡¦m sure¡¨ said an impatient Tomoyo as she closed the gate and starts the mile run.

¡§Nice talking to you!¡¨ shouted Eriol making sure she heard it; the response, a slipping Tomoyo. Eriol chuckled to himself as he walked away into the pouring rain.


	2. Another Day at School

Uhhh.. I know that not many of you read my stories. but still. gomen 4 not   
updating. been slacking off cuz I jus came bac from vacation. k now. let's get bac 2   
work.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or any characters and yadda yadda yadda.  
  
  
++++++++++++++++++++  
'-Thoughts  
"-Talking  
++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hidden Self  
By Violet Karuto  
  
Chapter 2  
A Day at School  
  
  
  
  
It was still dawn at the Tomoeda area when Tomoyo woke up, sweating. She just   
had the nightmare again. It's the 4th time this month and she's on the brink of sane. 'No,   
no not this again... I can't take it anymore...'She shut her eyes tightly as she remembered   
the scene in the hospital.  
  
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-FlashBack.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
  
  
Tomoyo stared worriedly at the operation room; they have been in there for like 2   
hours now. Her bodyguards surround her like always but they all have solemn faces on   
thinking about their mistress, both of them. Finally the operation sign was taking off as   
nurses rushed out the body and the doctor was standing defeated in front of the group.  
  
"I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"  
  
Right there and then, Tomoyo's heart stopped so suddenly that she sat down hard   
on the bench. Her face paled as she stared onto the ground murmuring to herself, the   
others looked at her in sympathy and stayed silent. 'No, no... this is not true' her head keep   
repeating as her mind try to keep a hold on reality. 'It's not suppose to end this way' she   
fought back the tears that was swelling up in her eyes. 'No, not now' she thought, 'not ever'.  
She had promised herself not to cry earlier that day before going to the hospital, no   
matter what the results is. She's never cried in front of people and especially not in front   
of her mother for she wanted to show her that she can be strong without her. She stood up   
with shaky feet and thanked the doctor placing on one of her smiling masks, but   
somewhere along the edges, its cracking.   
  
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.FlashBack Ends-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-   
  
  
After that, the following months are like hell to Tomoyo. She had shut herself in   
her room, avoiding as many people as possible. Sakura called for straight 4 days after   
hearing what happened but she ignored them all. She knew she'll hurt her but she's just   
too vulnerable right now to talk to anyone; especially her, because she knew she's going   
to break down in front of her the moment she opened her mouth. Even though her maids   
and bodyguards came occasionally to talk comforting words to her, she's not taking in   
any of it but she still thanked them anyway. 'They don't know what I'm going through   
right now she thought bitterly, and how dare they come up to me pretending to know   
everything when they don't even know the real me?' She had to laugh at that. 'Yes, the real   
me behind the perfect mask. I'm just getting too good at it, concealing myself from   
everyone'. The rest of the night she slept holding herself tightly.  
  
  
Tomoyo jolted herself back to reality as she sat up and looks at the clock beside   
her. It was 6:30 in the morning; it's time to get up. After taking the morning shower and   
getting dressed in the school uniform, she went downstairs for breakfast. Even though it's   
6:30 in the morning, all the maids are hurrying around getting ready for a new day. All   
the people under the roof know the habit of their mistress to wake up early. So they got   
up extra early to prepare the house for the mistress.  
  
  
Tomoyo strode to the kitchen and sat down at the long dinning table waiting.   
Almost immediately, the maids hurried to get the breakfast to her table and set the   
silverware ready.  
  
  
"Ohayo Tomoyo-sama," said one of the maids while placing a napkin on   
Tomoyo's lap.  
  
  
"Ohayo Kotora-san," replied Tomoyo cheerfully while looking at her.  
  
  
Breakfast has been a quiet one since she's the only one there; not did it matter   
since her mother was always away. Tomoyo had gotten used to it and actually enjoyed   
the morning peace alone with her thoughts. She had gotten over her some weeks after her   
depression, not that she would call it that. And her heart had begun to recover a little bit   
though not all together and probably never will be.   
  
  
She gently dabbed the napkin at the sides of her mouth and stood up, took her   
backpack, and began to walk towards the door. Instantly, there were two lines of maids   
standing by the door bowing and greeted her a farewell. Tomoyo got into the limousine   
her bodyguard warmed up for her and began the journey to school. Yup, just another   
normal day in her life.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
School  
  
Tomoyo had arrived early, she knew, and walked into the deserted halls of school.   
There were occasionally a gardener here or a custodian there, but they never paid   
attention to her for she's always seen walking around school early morning. Tomoyo   
loved the school in the morning for it was peace and quiet and she owned the music room   
all to herself. School had become like her second home since who knows when and she   
especially like the music room for Tomoyo sang in there for the first time of her life in   
kindergarten. This is the place to go when she has problems to get it out. Every morning,   
she would walk around the halls thinking about all that's happened to her ever since that   
fateful day. Starting the morning ritual, she started towards the music room and as she   
near it, she could hear music coming out. Curiously, she slid the door open only to reveal   
someone playing the piano. Getting a better look, Tomoyo went in and shut the door as   
quietly as she can and walk towards the piano. She gasped silently as she saw Eriol   
Hiirigazawa sitting right there, in front of her, playing the piano in the early morning.   
Suddenly, Eriol's attention was snapped back into reality as he sensed another presence   
in the room and saw Tomoyo gaped at him in shock. He could only smirk to himself.  
  
  
"Ohayo Daidouji-san! My, what a beautiful morning don't you agree?"  
  
  
'It would be if YOU weren't here' Tomoyo, angry with him for ruining the morning   
peace of the school.  
  
  
"Indeed it is Hiirigazawa-kun. And what, may I ask, are you doing here so early   
in the morning?" She's starting to get irritated.  
  
  
"Why, same as you my dear," Tomoyo was a little confused at what he just said   
and was aware that he might knows something. So she gave him a baffled look. Looking   
at her, he continued, "just enjoying the peace and quiet I guess. Isn't that what you're   
here for" He had a sly grin on his face which went unnoticed by Tomoyo.  
  
  
"Well of course, what else would I be here this early?" She said hesitantly still   
unsure on how to get him out of her sanctuary. 'Well, at least he's half-right'. "How did   
you know that I come here every morning? I don't remember seeing you here." She looks   
skeptically at him and he just shrugs it off.  
  
  
"I didn't say that you came here every morning and I just happened to be early   
today." He smiled slightly at her while she had a hint of red on her cheeks for realizing   
her mistake. Gotcha.  
  
  
"Oh, ok I-uh-um yea. You played piano wonderfully." Said Tomoyo trying to   
change the subject. The fact that she was actually stuttering was quite interesting to her.   
'Hmm... I have to think about this'  
  
  
"Thank you, Daidouji-san, it was quite a coincidence that I stumble upon this   
room. So you come here every morning? What else do you do? I'm quite interested"   
Eriol, amused, on how far he could push her.  
  
  
"Yes, I-uh" she was stopped short when they heard the bell ring. Glad she was   
saved by the bell; Tomoyo bid her farewells and hurried out of the room, leaving a   
snickering Eriol.  
  
  
"Yes, quite interested indeed."  
  
  
'Who does that Hiirigazawa thinks he is?' Thought Tomoyo as she stormed down   
the hallway, 'teasing me like that and being in my sacred place without my permission!   
Great he just ruined ANOTHER of day of my life...and have to be right after my monthly   
nightmare. I just can't take anymore of this'. Tomoyo shut her eyes and tried to get all the   
thoughts organized. 'Not now, Tomoyo, you're in school!' With that, she let out a sigh and   
opened the door to her classroom; plastered a smile on her face upon entering.  
  
  
"Ohayo Tomoyo-chan!" greeted a cheerful Chiharu as Tomoyo walked into the   
classroom.  
  
  
"Ohayo Chiharu-chan" said Tomoyo sitting down in her seat.  
  
  
"You're later then usual Tomoyo-chan, usually you're here even before the   
teachers! Anything wrong?" asked a curious Chiharu.  
  
  
"Oh nothing's wrong" Tomoyo laughed nervously, "I just had some-uh-some   
technical difficulties with my car."  
  
  
"Hey! Did you know that a long time ago, the people who created cars are   
actually doctors?" said Takashi who suddenly sprang out of nowhere, "and-" a mallet   
came flying from a corner towards him and hit his head before he finished; a fed up   
Chiharu standing over an unconscious Takashi.  
  
  
"Well, that takes care of our problem, so, who are you going with to the winter   
dance?" asked Chiharu as she dragged Takashi's body aside.   
  
  
"Oh, well, I don't think I'm going with anyone and besides, it's like a month   
away."  
  
  
"What do you mean `you're not going with anyone'? There's like a dozen love   
letters at your desk each day! There's gotta be someone!" exclaimed a surprise Chiharu.  
  
  
"Well, I'm not interested at anyone of them. Actually, I'm not interested in boys,   
period." Replied a definite Tomoyo  
  
  
"Not even me?" asked a husky voice from behind which Tomoyo knew so well.  
  
  
"And what makes you think I'm interested in you Hiirigazawa-kun?" said an   
irritated Tomoyo without turning around.   
  
  
"Well first of all," said Eriol as he step closer to Tomoyo, "my charming looks   
that makes half of school's female population drool?" Feeling uncomfortable, Tomoyo   
backed away a little.  
  
  
"Ha! Ha! Very funny," Tomoyo said sarcastically, "I'm going with no one   
and that's that." She went back to her desk and sat down trying not to stare at those azure   
eyes anymore than she have to.  
  
  
Eriol chuckled slightly and sat himself down, as well, behind Tomoyo vowing to   
annoy her one last time before this day ends. Oh, this is going to be a long day.   
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
a/n: SooOOOOO?? How you like it? I kno I kno, its short but.. well I'ver been preparing   
for skool and I have to clean up my room!! It's a nitemare come tru I tell ya! So   
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeez review no matter how bad the story is! Well Jaa for now~ 


	3. In the Rain

OMG!!! I got reviews!!! Arigatou u guys!! Luv u~ im hurryin dis story as fast as I can b4   
skool starts so don't blame me if it gets sloppy. O and Thanz a bunch to these ppl:  
  
  
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. CCS.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++  
'- Thoughts  
"- Talking  
++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hidden Self  
By Violet Karuto  
  
Chapter 3  
In the Rain  
  
It was raining hard that day all over Tomoeda as the thick storm clouds sent thousands of   
water droplets down on the cement. Tomoyo stayed home that day enjoying the peace   
and quiet of the rain. It never occurred to her that she could not go out, and that the rain   
could ruin a person's mood. She simply enjoyed the rain. Sometimes, she just wanted to   
run out there and feel the droplets hit her face as she twirled around, not caring if anyone   
saw. But years of manners taught her to stay put for that was very un-lady like. If it were   
like before, she would already be at Sakura's house baking and filming and having fun,   
but it wasn't like before. Now, with Li by her side, Sakura doesn't need her anymore and   
now when every time she has a problem, she has Li to run to.   
  
Tomoyo sighed as she stares out the window. 'Well, just another day at home, alone.'   
Sonomi is one yet another one of her business trips and Tomoyo had told her maids and   
bodyguards to take a day off since she wanted to have some peace and quiet. 'Alone isn't   
so bad once you get used to it,' she said to herself reasonably as she got up from her sofa   
and walked across her room, 'There won't be so much noises today to bother me.' She   
opened the door and went downstairs.  
  
Tomoyo strolled down the street with an umbrella, passing by stores and gift shops as she   
did so. 'No need to spent another day doing nothing. Might as well shop for a while.' She   
stopped in front of a fabric store and decided she that needed to stock up on threads and   
needles so she went in.   
  
Passing by rainbow colors of fabric, she stopped in front of a pink one and picked it up,   
mesmerized by it. The silk material is embodied with cherry blossoms at the corners with   
leafs sticking out. 'This would be perfect for Sakura-chan… but she doesn't need   
anymore of my weird costumes anymore now that the card business is over and happily   
being with Li…' Tomoyo put down the fabric and went in line of the cashier to pay her   
money. As she exited the store, she didn't notice another person picked up the pink cloth   
and went to for pay it.  
  
As she was walking down the street, she was lost in her own thought, unaware that   
someone is following her. After half an hour of aimlessly walking, Tomoyo found she   
standing in front of the Kinomoto residence and stopped at the steps. Staring at the door,   
she pondered if she should knock on it and finally reached a decision.  
  
Knocking can be heard all throughout the house as Tomoyo waited patiently in front of   
the door. After a minute or so, Tomoyo knocked, again to receive no replies.  
  
"Hello?" called Tomoyo, "Is anyone there? Touya? Kero-chan?"  
  
The door opened to find a very impatient Guardian as he wondered who would dare to   
disturb him from his video games. The frown vanished as he stared at the visitor in front   
of him.  
  
"Hi Tomoyo! Have you come to visit me? I'm so alone since everyone went out and-" he   
stopped, remembering something and he shot up the stairs. The last thing Tomoyo heard   
was, "make yourself at home!"  
  
Tomoyo walked through the door and slipped off her shoes. Staring at the empty house,   
she decided to see what was Kero up to. Grabbing the bags and climbing the stairs, she   
could hear shouting coming from the rooms, after reaching top floor, Tomoyo could hear   
it specifically through Sakura's room. She peeked through it curiously and what she saw   
didn't surprise her.  
  
"So Kero, what level are you on right now?" Tomoyo teased Kero as she sat down on   
Sakura's pink bed.  
  
"Can you believe it? I'm on level 10! It almost took me tow months to beat that! Man!   
You have no idea how tricky that boss was, I have to use my secret-guardian-beast-move   
and still it was a close call and-" Kero realized that she was only teasing him and wasn't   
listening to him. She was staring longingly at the picture by the bed, which had a picture   
of her and Sakura when they were small, and Kero could almost see that her amethyst   
eyes are brighter than usual.  
  
Thinking to himself, Kero decided to lighten the mood a bit.  
  
"So have you brought me anything?" Tomoyo could see Kero looking intently at the bags   
by the door, and couldn't help but giggled.  
  
"Of course, my dear Kero-chan! I could never forget you" She walked towards one   
specific bag and pulled out a nicely decorated box which had the brand, on top, 'Sarah's   
Sweets n' Goods'   
  
Kero's eyes went as big as saucers as you could see him drooling on the nice carpeted   
floor.  
  
"Is that what I think it is? Oh please say yes" Kero floated towards the box and sniffing   
out different scents.  
  
"Yes, yes, now calm down Kero, before you drown the room with your drools." Tomoyo   
led down the stairs as Kero obediently followed her into the kitchen.  
  
"Here," she opened the box to reveal a BIG cheese cake "it's all yours"  
  
Before Tomoyo finished, she could see a yellow blur show passes her and into the cake.  
  
Tomoyo laughed at the scene in front of her. Kero, Guardian Beast of the Seal, stuffing   
cheese cake into his already stuffed mouth, down his bulging tummy, and crumbs all over   
his face. But you could never forget that little cherry setting lopsided on his tiny lil' head.  
  
Tomoyo stared at Kero with her head in her hands and remembered the reason why she   
was here.  
  
"Kero, where is everyone?"  
  
Kero didn't hear her for he was too busy stuffing more and more cake into his mouth so   
Tomoyo repeated her question.  
  
"MMmmHpH uf mmm" it said.  
  
Tomoyo looked helplessly at the small lion as he swallowed his food.  
  
"Well," he wiped his mouth with his tiny paws, " the dad went to another excavation in   
Egypt, the brother went on his usual part-time job, and for Sakura…" He looked   
uncertainly at Tomoyo "she went to that kid's house for the weekend."   
  
"Oh."  
  
Kero knew what was going on in her head that very second and decided to leave her   
alone and went upstairs.  
  
Tomoyo, unaware that she was alone again, sat still in the chair staring at the table. ' I   
knew it, somehow, I knew it was going to turn out this way, and somehow,' she stood up,   
' I knew that she's drifting farther and farther away from me till one day,' she walked to   
the door and put her shoes on, 'she will disappear from my sight forever.'  
  
Kero, hearing the front door closing silently, shook his small yellow head sadly. He knew   
what was going on, but he couldn't do anything, for Tomoyo had totally shut herself out   
without knowing it. 'But' he thought, 'there still might be hope.' So he returned to his   
video game shortly, with his stuffed stomach.  
  
Tomoyo walked down the street as droplets of crystal fell on her from the sky. She took   
no notice of that as she wondered down the street.  
  
She walked as any normal person would, but inside, her heart is tearing apart for   
unknown reasons. She could feel her heart aching and then choking her, making her run   
out of air. But somehow, she suppressed that and continued her journey to the anonymous   
destination. She could feel something surge through her nose, then to her eyes as she   
could feel her eyes getting heavy and something's about to drop out of it. (A/N: hey   
peepz im tryin 2 describe how it is 2 cry so sorrie if u got confused)  
  
'Tomoyo stop it!' she thought fiercely, 'You promised yourself not to cry under any   
circumstances' So she sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, then continued to   
walk as if nothing had happened.  
  
A pair of azure eyes watched her from a corner.  
  
Finally, her feet automatically stopped in front of a gate, and in front of the gate, she   
found herself staring at the Penguin Park. She could almost laughed aloud right there at   
the coincidence, even thought her mind is not working, her feet certainly are.   
  
'Well, since we're here, why not?' so she entered the park and sat on the swing with her   
soaked clothes, kicked off mindlessly as she swung back and forth.  
  
Then, an idea hit her. She's not sure if she's been thinking too much lately or she's just   
crazy, but she got up from the swing and looked around to see if anyone's there, and took   
off her shoes.  
  
Looking around, she found the perfect place and skipped to it, under the cherry blossom   
tree.  
  
Steadying herself, she started to twirl around in circles while laughing at her silliness.   
Remembering bits and pieces from her dancing lessons, she started to form a dance of her   
own Without knowing it, she's been putting her heart into every move and curve showing   
her real feelings for the past year.  
  
Eriol, in a corner, watched her intently as she jumped around the Sakura tree with   
graceful movements. But also it was the most heart-wretched thing he'd ever saw. As the   
raindrops sparkled amongst her flowing hair while she twirled, her face was calm and   
peaceful.  
  
Lost in her own world, Tomoyo felt her heart crying. Although she wasn't crying   
physically, she was crying mentally for someone to just hold her. She knew that this   
feeling would somehow influence her dancing since her teacher had once told her that the   
thoughts are the most important thing during dancing; she doesn't care.   
  
Then, as if she had magic, Tomoyo sensed that someone's nearby, watching her, studying   
her as if she was a rare species. Her head jerked up to meet the azure eyes of Eriol.  
  
Speechless and embarrassed, Tomoyo could only avoid his gaze while staring at the bag   
hanging off Eriol's hands.  
  
"Very interesting," she heard him say, " good evening Daidouji-san." He bowed, "isn't a   
fine weather we're having?"  
  
The only remark she could give him while still staring at the bag was "It's raining   
Hiirigazawa-kun, why would anyone like this weather?"   
  
"But you sure are enjoying this are you not?" he stated calmly even though you could see   
his eyes laughing.  
  
"What I do, Hiirigazawa-kun, is none of your concern," she clenched her hands, "Now   
state you business and leave me in peace."   
  
"Very well then," he put his bag aside, "Would thy lady be so gracious as to honor me   
with this dance?"  
  
Tomoyo shot her head up in surprise, and saw that he held his hand out toward her,   
waiting.   
  
"What trick are you pulling this time?" she looked at him suspiciously.  
  
"No magic, no tricks," he said honestly, "I simply liked your company. Would this reason   
be enough?"  
  
"No." she looked, once again, uncertainly at the hand being held out. "Would you leave if   
I accept your invitation?"  
  
"Of course, m' lady, of course." His eyes held amusement, but she did not see them.  
  
"Then I accept" carefully, she put her delicate hands into his large one and is amused by   
how perfectly they fitted together.  
  
Gently, he pulled her into his embrace and put one hand one her waist while she did the   
same with her shoulder.   
  
Somewhere faraway, Tomoyo could hear the slight waltz music being played. Thinking   
she shouldn't question, she stared up into his intense gaze, big mistake.  
  
She could feel herself froze as she stare deep into the dark blue orbs as he swept her   
around in tune to the music. Losing control of her body, she let him lead the way.  
  
Eriol could feel himself chuckle as he stare down at the paralyzed plum blossom. But   
despite himself, he could feel his heart twitch as he stare upon her dazed face. Crystal   
droplets glistened in her hair as if she had diamonds in them, deep violet eyes staring   
wonderingly at him as he smiled gently down. Full, red, cherry lips seemed to draw him   
in as they parted slightly.  
  
"You know…" he said matter-of-factly, "people are blinded by their emotions."  
  
She stared questionably up at him. 'What's he trying to say?"  
  
"Sometimes," he continued, "we are so blinded from the world that we don't see what's   
right in front of our faces"   
  
"For example," he slowed down, "a person can be so engulfed in their loneliness that   
they don't see the love and concern other people have for them." He looked at her.  
"What they think they know wouldn't be the truth they want to know. They are so deep in   
their void that they don't believe in anything anymore, even if it is the truth."  
  
Seeing what he's getting at, Tomoyo felt uneasy being so near him, but she couldn't help   
but think about his last words.  
  
"Tomoyo…" his deep voice said as he inched closer to her ear.  
  
"Hm?" unaware that he just called her by her first name, she widened her eyes as she   
could feel his breath warm in her ear. The sound of her heartbeat was heard in her head as   
she tried to force down the heat that was rising within her.   
  
"I had a wonderful time with you today" he said casually regaining his posture as he   
smirked inwardly.  
  
Tomoyo, as if she had just awoken from a dream, snapped her attention back as she   
pushed herself away from him.   
  
"Ok, you've had your dance so now fulfill the other part of our bargain and leave." For   
some reason, she couldn't look into his eyes; afraid of what she might see so she turned   
her back to him instead.  
  
Understanding, Eriol didn't argue and took his bag walking towards her.  
  
Tomoyo stiffened as she heard his footsteps making his way toward her. 'What does he   
want now?' her mind shouted nervously  
  
"I want to give you this" he handed the bag to her. Dumbfounded, she looked into its   
content and found that it's the pink silk she saw from afternoon. Looking at him, she   
waited for an explanation.  
  
"I don't expect you to use it now, but I hope you'll use it later when you're ready."  
  
Confused, Tomoyo looked at the silk again, "But-"   
  
Eriol put a hand up "you'll understand later on. In the meantime, why don't we call each   
other by our first names? We are at least friends don't you think?"  
  
The request surprised her a bit 'well I don't think there's any harm in doing so…and he   
did give me this…'  
  
"Yes, we are friends, at least."  
  
"I'm glad Tomoyo-san. I'll leave now to you peace."  
  
"Oh, thank you," said Tomoyo absentmindedly.  
  
As Eriol near the park gate, Tomoyo halted him.  
  
"Matte!" she ran up to him "ano… arigatou Hii- I mean Eriol-kun." She smiled her first   
real smile since that week and watched him smile in return as he walked out of the park.   
  
'Arigatou…'  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
A/N: OMG!! I can't believe I finally finished!!! Guys I'm not askin much but PLEZ   
REVIEW!! Dis has taken me a several days 2 finish.. and now its 12:20am and im   
reeeeeeeally tired! And I still have an Hst essay and english hw waitin 4 me~~ so sorrie if   
some of it doesn't make sense.  
  
Thanz a bunch 2: nightsister, raven, Tomoyo-chan, Chrisie B, Saint-Tail02, and my   
dearest uni-chan who has been through thick and thin with me through the whooooole   
story~!! Thank you sooo much u guyz!! Luv u lotz~ 


	4. The Confusement and the Call

*teary eyed* although its jus a couple of reviews... I still luv them~!!! Thank u SOOO much u guys~!! Speical thankz 2.....: Moonlight-Destiny, BlueBerryAngel, and [blank] who ACTUALLY REVIEWED my story....  
  
  
Disclaimer: If I DO own CCS... (in my dreams) then Eriol and Tomoyo would've become a couple already!!!!! geez u guys.... U don't need me 2 say it again....^_~  
  
++++++++++++++++  
' -Thoughts  
" - Talking  
++++++++++++++++  
  
Hidden Self  
By Violet Karuto  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
Violet eyes are contrasting pink fabric as Tomoyo stare blankly at the cloth. 'At least he could give me a hint to what I should do with this' she thought annoyed.   
  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.FlashBack.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
  
"I want to give you this" he handed the bag to her. Dumbfounded, she looked into its content and found that it's the pink silk she saw earlier in the afternoon. Looking at him, she waited for an explanation.  
  
"I don't expect you to use it now, but I hope you'll use it later when you're ready."  
  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.End of FlashBack.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
  
'What the heck does he mean by that?? What do I need with a piece of cloth?' Frustrated, she got up and sat on her bed. Looking slightly sideways, she saw, on the table, a small pink cell phone with tiny wings on it. She remembered it from a few years before, when they were still capturing the Clow Cards, she had given the replica of this to Sakura, mainly so that she could contact her when capturing a Clow Card. After that, they still use it to communicate with each other late at night when she is having trouble with school, or just to talk about HIM. She sighed. They haven't used this in the longest of time and she even wondered if Sakura had already lost it due to some guardian-beast-of- the-seal's wrecking of her room. She shivered as the wind blew into her room from her balcony. Getting up, she walked to the door and closed with a light-click.   
  
Since tomorrow's Sunday, and with the homework done, she might as well find out if her predictions are true. Picking up the cell phone, she used speed-dial 1 to connect her to her beloved Sakura.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Kinomoto Residence  
  
"Grrrr.... Ha! Take that you son-of-a-"  
  
"Kero!!"  
  
"Sorry" was his mumbled reply as he use his tiny paws to press the buttons of the controller twice his size.   
  
Sakura, as always, was working out another troubling math question. The problem is that she has been working on 1 problem for the past hour and it seems that she is no where near to solving it. Tapping the tip of her pencil on her paper, she decided to call Syaoran (sp?). 'Certainly he knows how to deal with this'. Picking up her small cell phone, which was given to her by her second cousin (is it second cousin? I don't know), she dialed Li's number and waited for an answer. After 4 rings, she decided that he's not home and left a message on his answering machine. She figured that she probably has to skip this problem until she could ask him in the morning. Sighing to herself, she set the cell phone aside and began on another problem.   
  
Ring-Ring  
  
Ring-Ring  
  
Kero looked up from the TV and looked around for the source of disturbance. His beady eyes caught the pink cell phone by the bed and then looked towards Sakura, and looked back to the cell phone.   
  
She was concentrating so much that she did not hear the ringing, nor did she hear Kero telling her to answer it.  
  
"Hoe?"  
  
"The phone Sakura, the phone!"  
  
"Oh" she said, figuring that it was probably Syaoran who got her message.   
  
"Moshi. Moshi. Sakura speaking"  
  
"Sakura-chan?"  
  
"Who-? Oh! Tomoyo-chan!" it has been so long since they talked on this cell phone.   
  
"Yes its me. Did you forget my voice already?"  
  
"Why would I? We see each other almost everyday! It's just that your voice is different in the phone."  
  
"Oh... I see..." Sakura did not catch that note of sadness in her voice as she started to work on her problem again with her shoulder scrunched up to holding the phone.   
  
"So what are you doing?" Tomoyo, on the other side, started to feel that they are starting to run out of topics to talk about. And soon, they'll be talking like strangers.  
  
"Math."  
  
"Oh. Do you need any help? I know you are troubling with at least one problem by now."  
  
Giggling can be heard as Sakura putted down her pencil and used her hands instead to hold the phone better.  
  
"No it's alright. I already called Syaoran-kun and left a message, he should be back by now. I don't want to bother you or anything, I know you've been busy these few days."  
  
"Oh... No, of course not, I want to hel-" her sentence was cut short as Sakura said suddenly,  
  
"Oh! I have another line coming in could you hold for a second Tomoyo-chan? I think it's probably him. I'll be right back."  
  
"Of course"   
  
Click.  
  
Silence...  
  
On the other line, Tomoyo waited silently while holding the phone with both her hands to her ears.   
  
Even when on the phone, someone could always snatch her Sakura away just like that. 'It's not fair! I want to at least spend a minute *talking* with her, I don't mind if I didn't see her face... her voice is enough. Why can't I get at least that? I don't want to be selfish but... I think that I'm starting to...'  
  
Click.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan? Are you still there?"  
  
"Sakura-chan, I'm still here. You know, if you still need help, I cou-" Suddenly, there was a spark of light in those amethyst eyes again.  
  
"Oh it's ok Tomoyo-chan. Syaoran is on the other line right now. Finally! I can get my homework done!"  
  
"Well that's great Sakura-chan", came Tomoyo's strained voice, the spark has gone, "Hope you have fun *talking* to him!"  
  
"Hoooooooooooooooeeeee!" Tomoyo could bet her video camera that her dear Sakura's as red as a tomato by now. "Gomen Tomoyo-chan, I'll see you tomorrow then. Jaa!"  
  
"Jaa..."  
  
Click.  
  
Busy Tone.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Daidouji Residence  
  
Tomoyo gently put the phone down to its receiver and dropped her head downwards so that a veil of her hair covers her face like a curtain.   
  
Drop-Drop  
  
Two big water blobs had stained the carpet below her feet. Slowly, she reached and touched her faces with her delicate fingers. 'Tears? again? twice this month? Tomoyo, Tomoyo, you *are* getting weak. What happened to the queen of masks? The mistress of people's feelings?' She squeezed her eyes shut as her sub-conscience keeps questioning her own mind. 'No, no, NO! Nothing is wrong with me. Be strong Tomoyo... be strong.... For okaa-san....' But in the corners of her mind, there lingered a small voice...  
  
'I don't know anything anymore...What is the meaning for strong? What is the meaning for myself?'  
  
Looking back up with glazed eyes, Tomoyo eyed the pink satin with dull vision. After a few seconds, she turned her gaze away and settled upon the shelf, which held the videotapes of Sakura's adventures. Again, she felt her heart twitched in a painful and shut her eyes tightly. Flopping on her bed, her ebony hair spread around her like a piece of silk. As she covered her eyes with the back of her hands, images of the past flashed in her mind. The day when she first met Sakura-chan and borrowed an eraser from her, the time when going to her house and baking a cake, that moment when Li-kun first stepped into the classroom, the second when Sakura smiled sweetly at her and making her heart melt.   
  
Tomoyo opened her tired eyes and try to focus on the ceiling, but not before one last image flash past her. The instant when Eriol had laid his deep mysterious eyes upon her, drawing her towards him.  
  
'What are you doing Tomoyo? Thinking about him in a time like this?' she sat up steadily and, once again, looked at the pink cloth. 'Oh well, until he tells me what I should do with this...'  
  
She got up, walked across the room, and stopped in front of the table. Taking the silk, she carefully folded it and put it in one of her sewing drawers. Going back to her bed, she changed into her nightgown and slipped into the covers. Taking one last look at the drawer, she switched the lights off by her bedside, and snuggled into the soft velvet sheet.  
  
Before drifting off to her dreamland fill with Sakuras, she saw a shadow by her door that leads to the balcony. The curtains swished around the shadow as the wind blew gently by.  
  
'Funny,' she thought, 'I thought I closed that door....'  
  
Then she knew no more as blackness dominated her mind. The shadow by the door made a movement his hand to his lips and blows a kiss toward the sleeping angel. Closing the door gently, he disappeared into the night without a trace.  
  
"Sweet dreams my dear..."   
  
Tomoyo, on the other hand, slept peacefully for the first time that month. No more dreams and nightmares, no more Sakura running away from her, no more images of Li-kun proposing to her, and definitely no more being alone.   
  
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A/N: *ducking from rotten eggs* I know dat dis chapter is very crappy and meaningless. I'm havin a MAJOR writing block rite now... and I'm even surprised dat I could rite dis much.... I kno dis chapter is veeery short so I'll try 2 make it up 2 u guys in the next chapter. Although I kno not much ppl read my story.... I still hope dat u guys could drop a REVIEW or two... I mean it isn't hard... jus *CLICK* on the button rite at the bottom left corner~! I probably won't b updating too often since the teachers at skool is giving homework nonstop.. sIIIIIIIIgh~ -_-; I even wonder if I would survive dis year..... well guyz~ till next time~! Jaa! 


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